WAYS to separate from their husband and all

WAYS
TO AMELIORATING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

INTRODUCTION

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The
United Nation defines violence against women as any act of gender based
violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, or mental
harm or suffering to women including threat of such acts, coercion or arbitrary
deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.
Ameliorating domestic violence against women us going to the the collaboration
of everyone, starting from the individual level, to the community, the
religious setting and the government everyone has a role to play to solve this
problem. The society has somehow encourage domestic violence against women,
there is a deep cultural belief in Nigeria that it’s socially acceptable to hit
a woman to discipline a spouse, also our religious setting is against divorces
and thereby make a lot of people to want to endure and not want to find a way
out to their problem, there is also stigma that follow anyone who decides to
separate from their husband and all these has led to an increase of domestic
violence against women over the year.

STEPS
TO BE TAKEN TO AMELIORATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Although
there is no clear cut solution to ameliorate domestic violence against women in
Nigeria below are some ways it can be reduce:

Awareness and sensitization

We
live in a society where when is being abuse in her marriage she is encourage to
endure and that the woman is the pillar of the home. Victims are scared to
speak out because they will be stigmatized in the society. The society needs
awareness on the evil of domestic violence. The society should be made to
understand that domestic violence should not be tolerated. People need to know
how to help victims of violence and what they must do. The society needs to
understand that domestic violence is never justified excerpt it’s in
self-defense when confronted with life or death. The society also needs to be sensitize
to stop victim blaming because it has become the order of the day in our
African society. This is very important because it makes the victims feel
responsible for the actions of their abusers, and they some end up not leaving
marriages they should have left, and they are not able to seek the help that
they need because they do not want to be judged or criticized by society. There
is need for the society as a whole to change their perception of women and stop
holding women accountable fpr the success or failure of a marriage because as a
result women do not want to be seen as a failure and so stays in an abusive
relationship till they are killed or one day end up killing their partner out
of rage. We should understand that ‘it takes two to tango’ especially in
marriage.

Review of the way of implementation
of existing laws against domestic violence

On
May 25th 2015 the Violence against Persons (Prohibition) act was signed into
law to help curb violence the law prohibits, among others
abandonment of spouse, children and other dependents without sustenance,
battery and harmful traditional practices; provides a legislative and legal
framework for the prevention of all forms of violence against vulnerable
persons especially women and girls and also prohibits  economic abuse, forced isolation and
separation from family and friends, substance attack, depriving persons for
their liberty, incest and indecent exposure. It also intends to eliminate
violence in private and public life and provide maximum protection and
effective remedies for victims of violence and punishment of offenders. However
while it’s possible to institute criminal action against the abuser in our
country, the investigative and prosecutorial capacities of our law enforcement
agencies are a huge disincentive for taking such actions. Civil suits for
damages can be filed where a conviction is obtained, but again the system takes
too long. Giving sufficient time for interventions by ‘well meaning’ relations
as well as religious and community leaders to dissuade the abused from seeking
solace from the law courts. The police needs to seek specialization in handling
cases reported by these unfortunate women, and alerted to the fact that battery
and assault remain felonies in our law books even where inflicted between
spouses. There is need to review the way will go about the implementation of
these laws to ensure better outcomes and results. Also all states in Nigeria
should ensure to properly implements this law

Help women to be economically
independent

A
lot of women stay in destructive relationships because they will be homeless
with their children. Most times they cannot go back home because their family
will ask them to go back to their husband and endure, the religious setting
will tell them keep praying for their husband that one day he is going to
change and so they end be stalk in a marriage where their health and their life
is at stake. A woman need to economically independent so as not to be too dependent
on the  man and in cases abuse you cannot
leave because you no money of your own. In case of Dr Perpetua Mbainfo she was
able to leave and take her children she was working and earning salary.

Sensitization of women to speak out
and seek refuge when being abused

Women
need to be sensitize that they need to be able speak out and seek refuge when
being abused and should suffer in silence because that seems to be the case of
some women. Victims should be opined to seek refuge in cases of domestic violence to ensure that the abuse does
not escalate and to heal up emotionally. Whether the decision to seek refuge
from an abusive marriage will be temporary one or a permanent one would
determine on the circumstances of each individual cases of abuse afterwards. In
the instance enumerated below victims of abuse may give marriage a second
chance where the abuser;

Ø  Accepts
that he is responsible for his actions.

Ø  Accepts
that he needs help

Ø  Accepts
to seek help from the right sources

Ø  Accepts
to be accountable to an unbiased third party, who should be a specialist in
counseling/handling domestic violence cases.

Ø  Accepts
to be closely monitored to ensure that victim can still live peacefully should
she return to the marriage.

Ø  Accept
that any further attempt on the part of the abuser to resort to domestic
violence would end the marriage would be sent to prison because human life is
precious and many who have lost their lives in the course of continuing to
endure abuse, do not have a second chance to live again.

Scrutinizing pre-conceived notion
about divorce and divorcees

Many
view divorcees with contempt, in religious circles, some believe that divorcees
will not make heaven and should not aspire to any office in society or in
religious settings, the circumstances of the divorce notwithstanding. If we
must progress as a society, we must be ready to scrutinize these preconceived
notions and discard them where appropriate. The yard stick for determining
which of these notions should be discarded should ultimately be whether the
reason for enduring abusive marriage is worth what the victim could actually
end up losing- human life. Christians who frown at divorce need to know that
domestic violence is anti-gospel and ant- I Christ because the model of family
interaction as laid down by Christ for family is self – sacrificial love.

WAYS OF ASSISTING VICTIMS OF
VIOLENCE

Counseling

Counseling
should be provided for victims of domestic violence to help them heal psychologically
and emotionally. In the case of Dr Perputual ,Mbanefo she found out despite
trying over and over again on her parents orders to make her marriage work, the
psychological impact of the abuse meant that could no longer any king of
intimacy with husband. Victims need help to be able to overcome the
psychological impact of being abused.  

Create
a support group system

There
is need to create support group system to help victims of domestic violence. This
can go a longer way to victims when they know they have people who can support
them and they are not in this world even when their families sometimes choose
not to support them. Just like the the of Mbanefo she did not have the support
of her family but she was able to Hope house a small shelter for domestic
violence. We need more across the whole of Nigeria to help more victims of
domestic violence.

Help
victims to be economically independent.

Victims
who are not economically independent can be introduced into skills acquisition
program such as tailoring, bead making, bag making, decoration, baking and
others to help them acquire skills that will help them to economically
independent. Soft loans can also be provided for them by the government to help
them start up their business. This is important because most victims of
domestic violence have no source income that why they remain in abusive
marriages.